Life Love and Ranting x ;

I'm standing at the biggest crossroads of my life
and
all I wanna do is close my eyes and run away
xxx

That's how it always feels, isn't it? Or am I the only one with this opinion? Of course that's statistically improbable since there is always more then one person who will agree with you, but then again there are the possibilities that you truly are alone in your opinion, but with this one, I'm willing to hazard a guess and assume I'm not the only one. Anyways, my minds been a fumbling mess recently and I'm not too sure what to do. So many things are spinning around at one and I'm rushing to catch up, yet it feels as though I'm not moving. But in a sort of reality, everything is just speeding up the faster I run, soon enough I'll be going backwards, and I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to feel about that. Some times I feel like a nomad in the midst of my life, always moving never settling. I don't want to move but it seems like the only natural thing to do, its the way I've reprogrammed myself to be and at times I deseratly wish to change it but at other points I welcome it. A change of scenery is always necessary to live a fulfilling life, for me anyways. At other times I feel as if I'm a hermit forced to be out in the world when all I want to do is curl up in my home and never move. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled back, back to times I don't want to relive. I found my way out but it seems as if its trying to pull me back in, I should've known I couldn't escape, no one can run from their past, it always comes back to fuck you over. It doesn't matter how far or how fast you run the truth is, you can never escape. I think I'm going to give up all together on liking people, where has it gotten me so far? No where, if anything its only pushed me back farther. Sure, its something to hope-to strive for but at the end of they day it doesn't really matter unless they return your affections. And really Nott won't ever like me, he's well, god like and I'm the lowest poorest ugliest peasant that doesn't even show up on the radar. I really don't know what to do anymore in life. I had it all figured out, but now its a mess, I'm not even sure if I really want to go into English anymore, so what could I possibly go into now? No fucking clue. I'm not good at anything else, and I know I need a good sturdy job that allows me to take time off but what else is there other then teaching English? And then comes the cost, university is fucking expensive that I'm working for a semester so I can help pay for it. I don't want my parents to go broke paying for schooling and fuck, I'll end up having to go to school in Canada since one, I don't want to go to the states because a) no health care b) its the states, who wants to go there and c) I don't want to take the SATS. So howdy Canada looks like I'll be here to stay, there go my travel plans. Now don't get me wrong I'll still travel the world, eventually, when I'm old gray and alone, but I'll get there, I hope. Yeah I got big dreams, and chances are they won't happen, but dreams don't come true so I guess I'm on the right track. Whatever, life's not about falling down and not getting back up, its about taking chances, falling and jumping right back up again, I should just remember that and move on.

Its not about how hard you can get hit, its how hard you can get hit, get up and keep moving forward.

(posted previously)


It's about taking chances, breaking free, being who you want to be, and showing all of those who told you that you can't that you can, and you can do it better then they can.
(life)

School Concerts Heroes x ;

I'M STARTING THIS OFF LIKE NO OTHER POST.
COLE POPS IS MY HERO.
AND HE WILL STAY MY HERO FOREVER.
Well.. maybe.

So today I decided fuck it all, I'M GOING TO METAL WORKS and it was honestly the best decision I ever made. So many AMAZING things happened you wouldn't even begin to understand. I saw my friend Alisha Majic and I made a new friend with this really kawaii girl and yeah we both hate Sevin because hes a fucking ass hole and shes well, kawaii so of course I'm going to be her friend. And to all those who don't know me and don't know anything about me I'm bisexual OOOOHHHH SHOCKER, not. If you don't like it, suck my dick whore. Anyways, my newest hero, Cole Pops, PROPOSED to BRIAN MELO- oops sorry Brian Papalazarou soon. Honestly today was AMAZING and I can't even post anything that would make sense to anyone. I love you all. Oh yeah and Nott was looking gorgeous today and now Robert Marsalla knows my urge to fuck him. He almost knows as much as Hermione does, and she knows I wanna bang him like no tomorrow. This is what happens when I an forced to walk home all alone because someone had to move away *COUGH* SHAYLA *COUGH*





EDIT: I also motherfucking hurt my ankle walking home, how I did it no idea, but it friggen kills.



ANOTHER EDIT: link to the video of Cole http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=614740392#!/video/video.php?v=375399416220&ref=nf <

Heroes Villains x ;

I told you. You're just like me. Only you're the hero… and I'm the villain. But what difference does it actually make? Deep down, we're just two wicked people playing a wicked, wicked game.

It's true isn't it? Heroes and villains, villains and heroes. It's the same thing, they just go about their desires in different ways. What makes a hero? Is it someone who saves others? Well, villains do that too, they save those that they believe need saving just like the heroes. What makes a villain? Are they someone who does things others don't approve of? Well, heroes do that as well, everyone does it. Why is there a barrier between hero and villain, good and evil, when in reality there are more similarities than differences between the two? What if you were brought up-what if your society was formed upon stealing and killing? You would not think of that as evil or wrong, it would be the right thing to do, you would see nothing wrong with it. Heroes would be gods of death, and of stealing not the ones portrayed now.

Ugh, random ramblings I know... I just needed to say it somewhere

Gays Pairings Hockey Sports and School x ;

"Gatorade has just announced they're ending their relationship with Tiger Woods.
Apparently they checked his cellphone
and found text messages from Powerade and Vitamin Water." -Jimmy Fallon

So, I'm in a better mood today, still angry but I'm choosing to ignore that little hiccup in my wonderful year so far. If you didn't read my previous post I got angry at someone I know for being an immature little fucking racist asshole and just being an idiot. To those who don't know me personally, I HATE racists with a passion. Sure I'll admit I'll laugh at a racist joke or two and yeah I'm a bit of a hypocrite for doing so, and I'll fully admit it but blaming a people for ruining the Olympics opening is complete fucking bullshit. I have very high regards for Aboriginals and everything that happened to them, the post not only was offensive to them but it hurt me as well. I'm a huge fighter for equal rights and all that jazz, especially since I live on the Aboriginal's native land. But I do apologize for flying off the handle and blowing up but I take these things seriously so don't fuck with me. ANYWAYS....


Today was fun I suppose, nothing too interesting happened, except for me and Cookies's adventures running around the school. Oh yeah, and tomorrow we have this art thing at our school, you were supposed to sign up for it but I wasn't sure what was the hubbub was all about so I'm going to try tomorrow morning. FINGERS CROSSED! And honestly, only reason I really want to is because my friend from Cathedrals coming.


Now then, I LOVE HOCKEY. No, I don't just love hockey, I-I-I... Well, I ADORE it SO MUCH there's no possible way to describe it. Hockey hockey hockey, how I love thee. But now the Olympics finished and how will I get my sports boost every day? HMMM? I mean its not just hockey, its sports in general, winter especially.


AND OH GOLLY GOSH. I LOVE GAYS. AND GAY PAIRINGS. AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE JACK/RALPH FROM LORD OF THE FLIES. Hehehe. yoaifangirl on crack? Why yes I am, AND DAMN PROUD. Soooooooo kawaiiiii hehehe!

Anger, Racism, and Rants x ;

A world cannot stand when its history is based off racism.

So today I was in a really happy mood, I mean really happy. Every little thing that had me down was brightened up almost right away. And in this happy go lucky stupor I was going to write an amazing blog about my life and my love of hockey and how saddening it is for me that the Olympics have finished. I mean really, now what can I watch religiously? Anyways, before I was going to write my blog I decided to check up on my friends blogs and I got to a fucking idiot Charlie Gaziano's (http://placeblognamehere1800.blogspot.com/) and I wanted to shoot him for his idiotic behavior writing up the blog post entitled " Did Canada Ruin the Olympic Ceremony?". For all of you who know me they know I take Aboriginal rights very seriously and I have a grudge against Canadians for doing what they did to them, therefore I commented on the blog, well, lets face it, its more of a babbling rant but I thought the world should realize what Aboriginals mean in this world.

"I should fucking shoot you for this. Are you fucking kidding me the NATIVES, not Indians, were here before the English settled the land and before your family ever came here. Natives Americans are the *real* Canadians. The English and French that settled here were fucking racist and screwed them over. The Natives should've had a larger role in the Olympics, not all of them were recognized only four clans were. Your a fucking prick for writing this, I hope you realize that. What they did to Natives in residential schools was a cruel and heartless as what Hitler did, and worse. Hitler killed the Jews, Canada took away their identity, their lives, their beliefs, their culture and their history. And the aftereffects still stand now. How would you like it if the Russians, for example, took you out of your home as a child forced you across the country without saying goodbye to your friends, family and all you hold dear and made you into something you weren't. They BEAT the children, RAPED them, and KILLED them in those schools, and they were run by the CHURCH. They weren't allowed to speak their native tongue, not allowed to contact family members nothing. They lost their identity they forgot their old lives, they didn't fit in with their people and didn't fit in with the Englishmen. Fuck you. Next time you decide to write something so fucking immature and heartless learn about the people your insulting. Grow up, I mean really. Oh and the hydraulics was working just fine throughout the entire show. Blame bad luck not a nation of people whose land you live upon now. You should be thankful and have a bit more respect for them they gave up what was rightfully theirs for you to live on now. And they could have done it willingly they were eager to help the new settlers but no, they were tricked. Honestly grow the fuck up."



Fuck you Charlie and grow a set of balls.

IVY OUT BITCHES.

Love, Sex Appeal, Cupcakes x ;

Theres no time in life to stay mad over the stupid shit..let things go and move on in life. is there really nothing better to do than hold onto a grudge..? Dont waste time with stupid people and stupid comments and dont let the litte shit bother you. its not about how hard you can get hit, its how hard you can get hit, get up and keep moving forward

Taken from Nick Lanza's Face book status.
(It was on my homepage and I personally loved it so all rights go to him and him only)

Hello friends and fellow bloggers! Sorry I haven't been posting recently but for some reason it wasn't letting me long onto my blogger account and I finally got it back today!




OKAY and it screwed me over yet again! So, I'm back now for good, I hope.

Um I forget that this was- OH okay, so I was writing this to say, I make cuppy cakes with Jacob and Shayla <3>


I think that's it...

LIFE is too short. Grudges are a waste of PERFECT happiness. LAUGH when you can, APOLOGIZE when you should and LET GO of what you can't change. Love DEEPLY and forgive QUICKLY take chances. Give EVERYTHING and have no regrets... life is too short to be UNHAPPY. You have to take the GOOD with the BAD smile when you're sad. LOVE what you got... and always REMEMBER what you had. ALWAYS forgive, NEVER forget. Learn from your mistakes, but NEVER regret.

Posted March 1st?

Into the fire x ;

Out of the frying pan and into the fire



Second post, My mindless rambling needed a separate post because it wouldn't flow with the other, and I've already posted it.

It what life's about isn't it? Out of one situation and into another, never a chance to stop and hold your breath. At times it feels like I'm drowning under the pressure, how people can deal with it so smoothly astounds me. Sure on the exterior I'm clam and collected but just underneath it, bubbling is a never ending ocean of emotions. The waves threatening to break me. Its literally a make me or break me situation, emotionally I'm strong but sometimes I just need a break. I know breaking down the defenses I've put up around me will be harder to take down then it ever was building them up, but I need a little help with it. I managed to break down a few, but its surprising how much I've isolated myself from everyone else. Its corny and cliche when I say this but I want someone who can get through to me and show me what I've been missing out on, but so far it seems hopeless, I guess its my destiny.


Before I post this, something caught my eye on facebook and I have to say this. I ABSOLUTELY HATE DRUGS AND THOSE WHO TAKE THEM. It makes me so angry its unbelievable.


And a note to myself: Add C+J's numbers to cell phone.

&

HAPPY FEBRUARY FIRST ALL !!!!